Wonderful Life of Me

Wow, it has been a really long time.

Quick update: got married almost 2 years ago. getting divorced. my job is closing my branch soon. going to go back to school. helping with my grandfather who has Alzheimer's. helped my parents re-paint the outside of their house, glad it's not a huge mansion.

Just looking at the quick update, I have been a busy girl! I have made room for fun in there though. That is mostly in the last 6 months. I have moved out to my Grandfather's farm to help with him & my Uncle (who has suffered strokes recently).

I love it out here, so peaceful & quiet most of the time. I am just outside the city limits & I love this time of year. All of the leaves turning colors & falling to collect on the green grass. It looks like someone has painted a green canvas with rich golden & red colors.

I have kept myself very busy, since the whole divorce thing started. I have to keep busy or I will sit & dwell on so much that has happened. So I have gone on a little trip about once a month since I have moved. Which is so much more than I have done in the last 6 years. Maybe someday it will all catch up to me & I will have a very bad day. But I am hoping that it doesn't happen ever.

I have reconnected with a lot of old friends that I haven't seen in years. It has been amazing catching up with everyone. A couple in particular have made life so much more interesting.

I can't wait for them to close my store. I know the "normal" reaction would be panic. This time I am going with the flow & taking time off to go to school while I can. Get my bearings back & get everything in order.

Fun, Fun, Fun. I am even packing to go on a little trip this weekend. It's for my hunter safety course. But it is still a trip in my eyes. Mainly because I am getting away & staying in a hotel for the weekend. When I get back on Sunday, hopefully I will be going to one of my friends house to watch my Cowboys play & enjoy some homemade apple pie (it's a drink that he is making).

Lot's more adventures to come.

~Froggy~

-sorry it's been so long since that last post. Been busy with life in general. Not just mine though, with friends & family as well. With birthdays, baby showers ect. The recent introduction of my other family from my Biological Father who just passed away. I had never met the man, only knew his name and that he was close somewhere in town. I went to the funeral and saw, out of 15 people, one of my best friends from high school was there. She is *surprise* my cousin.
I hava a different job now. I hate jumping job to job. I would rather have stability. I guess it just wasn't in the cards for the whole 9-1-1 thing. Which I understand. I am now an asst. mgr. at a check cashing place. I love my job it'd be better with more money though =)
I have recently been re-evaluating my life and where I am apposed to where I'd like to be and how to get there. Looking at all the things that need to change and what needs to stay the same. This has all transpired due to the loss of loved ones in the last year. I'm looking at living life to the fullest and remembering every bit of it. Well maybe not every bit some things are better left untold.
We have put the wedding on the back burner for now. We haven't really talked about it in a while. Due to other things taking 1st place on our minds. Such as the car situation (broke again). Our lease is up in April and what to do then, continue here for another yr or rent a house. I prefer the last. We really want to buy a home, you know that all American Dream.
Well I'm going to bake a cake for my not so little brothers birthday party today 24 yrs young.
~Froggy~

I Might have a new career!
Not just a job but something that I think I'd be great at. I have an interview this coming Thursday. Some have been uber supportive. Then there are those that always have to rain on your parade. I'm a very lucky woman! The man of my dreams and of my life continues to amaze me. Over a month ago he told me to go ahead and put in my 2 week notice and get the hell outta the Cheapo. I thought about it long and hard and double checked with him about it before I took the huge leap......Testing later and an interview lined up, then WHAM! I get the worst thing that could've happened at this time.......second guessing the descision. Not by me though, because lord knows that I'm happier than ever. I've been doing everything around the house without any complaints. Yes I get thanks and appreciation. But sometimes I wonder what is really going on inside that gorgeous head of his. I want him to know that I GREATLY APPRECIATE all of this. Mainly for the simple fact that he is willing to stand beside me (no not behind me, we are equals) through all of this, as I would do the same. We are all human and have weak moments, and moments of doubt. Then we realize, hopefully, that the ones that we instill trust and love so very much, would never do anything to intentionally hurt us. No matter what.

I thought that I'd have more time for this stuff while looking for a job. Guess not =P That's a good thing I think. It means that I'm not just messing around on the computer, that I'm actually making progress with things. I've been uber busy around the house. One of my best friends moved back recently. Another keeps popping by to make sure that I'm still around and not getting into trouble, well at least not alone that is.

Recently I went back home. Even though it was only for a couple of hours, a lot of old memories came rushing back. The good ones I keep with me and bring them out on Rainy days. They help to remind me that everyday is a new chance to make different, and posibly better memories. Some of the not so good ones, and bad ones help me to appreciate where I've been and where I am at. I look back at the young naive girl that I once was, yes I was very sheltered and still have a lot to learn, and compare to the woman that I have become. I look at all of this and see that I have learned a whole lot more than most tend to give me credit for. For those of you out there who try or tried to sell me short, good luck with that! I'm not a child anymore, I'm still young yes but a child I think not. For those of you who realize this and appreciate me for who I am and who I have become, I LOVE YOU! Love has so many different levels. Those who know me may have already caught on to this. For I'm not one to lay my heart out on the line at every little whim, but those in which I hold dear, I would truely do just about anything. Thank you to those that are constantly there for me no matter what, and I will treat you the same that you have treated me.
~Froggy~

My Love
My love is so strong
I don't want anything to go wrong
For him I would give my life
Because I long to be forever his wife
My love for him is so true
That when we're togehter I never feel blue
Sometimes we give eachother a headache
But still for our lives will ache
Ache for eachother and none other
We have decided
That we do not need anyone else
Someday soon...
We won't have to worry
Not about money, jobs, or anything
A worry free Happy Life
That's what I see for us
Sometimes we get impatient
We want it all now
But we will have to wait for now
Because the best things in life are
Always well worth the wait
Such as our love
It will continue to grow and never fade
~Froggy~

Recently I have found an old poem book of mine from years ago. I stumbled across this when I was going through some old boxes of mine to get rid of the old stuff that's no longer needed. I was thumbing through it and it has inspired me to pick up where I left off. I'm going to publish one for the first time via blogger.
Pain
Something is hidding
I can feel it
I ask but get nothing
They think that I don't trust
And that all I do is lust
When in fact all I feel is Love
It is true blue & it is from up above
They don't exactly see my insecurities
I try to show them & explain
I try to show them all this pain
It was shown to me when I was young
I'm not worth anything
Anything that is good will end in pain
I do not show all that is inside
Because it holds a lot of pain
Pain hurts so I want to hide
I want to stop the hurt before it takes place
So I try to talk and that leads to...
Different kinds of pain
They see mistrust and lack of confidence
But inside I see love, and trust, one day
If I'm lucky......I will find the one that I can
Trust enough to let in & he won't abuse the information
He won't use all the pain to cause more
Get married, buy a house, cars, kids the real "American" Dream
I fear that won't happen because I'm not worthy
But they tell me not to worry
~Froggy~

Stepping Stones
I feel invisible to the world
Sometimes to those for whom I care
I may have just let some do what they want before
But where are they at now
To them I was just a stepping stone
Tired & hurt - well NO more
I won't allow it anymore
Those who want to step here
Can Kiss My A*S
Let me walk a little
Turn the tables
Show them how it feels
Do things for me
Not dispite me
Because you shall only receive
What you do to me
So think about that before you do it
If you want that then continue
This is to all that truely do not care
Those that do should care enough
To stop and think first
I hold so many ?s inside
For I have been "just another stone" for so long
I'm tired of being everyone's rock
I want to start off fresh with my own building block
I hope that begins soon
I have faith, but it lacks with me
Am I really worth all that is expected
Or am I just one big disappointment
To my family, friends, loved ones all the same
That ? plays over in my head
Here is to my very own beginers set of Building Blocks
~Froggy~

Life.....
Things have been slow around the home. Getting back in the gym finally. Called on steps needed to take to get wed in the church.
I have been catching up with family and friends that I haven't talked to in a long time. Missing those that I can't see so often or get a hold of via phone.
I'm really happy that I have him in my life to help me through the rough times. Things have been so much more clear since we have been together. I'm seeing things for the first time in the light of the real world. I didn't realize that I had such a sheltered life as a kid. I knew I was a little bit but now I'm seeing so much more.
We are going to a Omaha Royals Baseball game tomorrow. I'm really excited. It may seem dumb but I went out and bought a glove to catch foul balls with, instead of my head =D Maybe I can even talk him into using our Zoo Pass for the first time this year, after the game. You never know.
I couldn't have asked for a better life right now. Almost waiting for the other hand to drop as they say. But trying not to think too hard on that, and living in the moment.
Till next time
*Froggy*

Really Hectic!!!

As of late if I'm not working or sick....I'm out and about with My Guy, Friends or all of the above. Occasionally I get a day to just lounge around the home front. Not too often though, because there is always something to do around here.

The love life is going really well. I was having some issues but then I woke up and realized a lot of things. We are getting married this year. Talk of starting a family soon has gotten me really excited. We aren't trying hard, but not trying to stop it either.

Recently I have realized that I was stressing about a lot of things. Stupid things that I should just shrug my shoulders at. But instead I was taking them to heart and freaking out for no reason. I decided that my health wasn't worth it. Sometimes you need to just step back and look at the whole picture and where you would like to be. Look at the things that need to change in order for them to take place, Decide the best plan. Then take action.

For the longest time I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do with my life. Then after a long discussion with the Groom to be......it came to me. I would love nothing more than to be the stay at home wife with the kids and everything. Of course I would have to have at least a part time job. Some would say: to get out of the house. I would say so that I have my own little income and not 100% reliant on the husband. Of course there are a lot of women and men out there that think of this as barbaric, or old school/old fashioned. But when I look back at how I was raised....I think that some more parental influence would have done a lot of good for all of us. Because both parents were working full time jobs, they barely had time to make out the checks for bills let alone have family night, or time to go to school functions. Don't get me wrong I'm not blaming them for working and putting food on the table or a roof over our heads. My mom always told me that she wanted the best for us and wanted better for us than what she ever had. With certain opportunities that may come up we both foresee this as an option. Plus maybe even Foster Care.

We have been looking at bigger places to live. Our lease is up soon and the little one bedroom isn't big enough for us and of course MOSEY. Moses alone needs his own room, with all the junk that we have bought for him. He has his jungle gym/house thing that is almost as big as our love seat. Late at night if we aren't in bed yet he will run rampid throughout the apt. and attack my guy. Then Moses will chase him and bite the back of his legs when he catches him. Of course if I'm not being chased as well, I'm laughing my ass off at the spectacle.

Still no official date for the upcoming nuptials. Still waiting on when he will be able to take vacation time.

Megz will be back the first week of August. For that I am REALLY happy. But at the same time sad. The only reason that she is coming back is because her husband has to go over seas yet again. But some really great girl times are to come. More stories and a lot more memories.

Till next time. Hopefully it won't be so long before I get a moment to let my mind wander.

~Froggy

Things have been really good around here lately. My guy and I have been doing great. My kitty cat Moses has a bigger personality that's growing. Friends have been great to me and vise versa. The job has been alright, making some changes. Cars.......=( still bad luck with that situation.

I've been reconnecting with some "lost" friends and family from the past obviously. It always feels good talking about happy memories and catching up. Recently a very dear friend of mine has been going through a very rough patch and we hung out the other day just pulling out yearbooks and pictures. The laughter coming out of the room had to sound good and put those around in a good mood. It was genuine and real from the gut laughter, about all the stupid things we used to do. (We were kind of crazy back then!) Some of the things to this day I can't believe we did, but obviously did. I think it may have helped her to realize it's a big picture to look at and not just the moment. There is more to life than what "evil" may be consuming you at that moment.

2007------>(in no particular order)
I would really like to get out and see the world. I know there is more than just the Midwest. I don't have any problems with my roots, but I would love to expand my experiences and explore. The ocean is a big one, the mountains and Ireland are a few others.
Keep in touch with those that I hold dear to my heart. Wether they are old or new. Reacquainted with those that I have lost touch with.
Maybe this will be the year that I find my biological Father and half brother. It's been over 25 years since he's seen me, or tried to contact me. Remind you I have never seen this man or heard from him. (pictures don't count)
Marry the man of my dreams! We have so many plans/dreams and a long journey ahead of us. Not rushing anything though.
Go to a Major League Baseball game.....can anyone say Chicago Cubs here we come! =)
Go to a NFL game.....Bears, Broncos, Saints...doesn't matter to me. I'd be happy to go.
This one may sound a little bit redneckish.....I'd like to go to a NASCAR race. I have a thing for mechanics.
Move into a bigger place. This is partially because our little family is getting bigger. We would like to expand it this year as well.

I think for the most part I may be able to achieve most of these goals I have set for myself.