Well I thought that we had solved this issue. With the start of a new year and all. Especially since we talked it through.
I feel like a burden to all around me right now. I feel severly down and trapped. I have a car that I can't seem to get running and have to rely on others. Therefore I'm pooring all of my money into this damn thing and not getting anywhwere. I ask for help, remind you that I do not like to ask for help, and they say sure no problem. Then later things seem to wind up biting me in the ass! 1 I hate owing people anything. 2 When I do I am very prompt about paying it back as soon as I can. 3 I get severly frustrated when people say they are going to do something and then they don't (doesn't everyone?)
I realize things have been very hectic and busy as of late and things are starting to take their toll. I try my damndest to be very patient and understanding. But there is a point when I will explode.
I have a bad feeling, it could just be my head messing with me, that things are getting the way that they are because of other things and not to deal with me. I just manage to be on the receiving end of the whip.

Smoking....I have decided that I'm better off not going back down that road. I hung out with some old friends last night for a little bit. They were smoking & it reminded me why I quit. The smell, the taste, the burning eyes, & the dis-coloration of their skin. Plus with my ulcer, really not a good idea!
It was a good time hanging out with them. We were inseparable through out high school. Then I haven't seen James for over 3yrs, & Bren, well we talk when we both can. We talked about old times. Great memories!
Ry & I are doing really good. Lots of plans for the future.
Another friend of mine needs help I'm not sure how to help though. Other than to be there, & try getting her to talk about things. I find that's the only way that I can get things started on fixing the problem. In my own experience though. I rack my brain more than they know about these issues. I think her blogging about all the things also helps some. That way she doesn't have anyone interrupting her or judging her.
My health....They're changing my meds for the ulcer. The stress hasn't gone away. In fact sometimes I think it's worse.....THANK YOU CHEAPO! Hopefully soon to say GOODBYE CHEAPO! Until then I'm bidding my time & biting my tongue on a lot of issues when I'm not there. It helps for me not to vent w/ my guy about the issues.
Well on that note........I'm at home & not going to think about work.
Going to bake some cookies. Peanut butter with the kisses on the top.....MMMMMM! One of my favorites!

Meeting the family was a lot less worry than I thought. GOOD thing :) I really like them. I would like to get to know them a lot better. Talks of Christmas-Holiday time with them.
Work is the same. Still looking to escape.
Friends? Why are there so many cruel people put there? They are always trying to kick you when you're down or get you down when you're high on life. These people really suck! There seams to be a lot of them around right now. When everything else is going SO great. There are times when I wish that I still smoked because of the stress. I know that's a cop-out. But that actually did seem to calm me down.
I'm not sure right now.
Till next time

As of late things have been going really well. My guy started his new job & he loves it. We actually have time for one another. We are working similar hours now.
The other day I over heard him telling someone that we had his niece & nephew over for the night. That made me so happy to hear something so little as that. Because.....the kids he was talking about are my niece & nephew. It's the little things like that that make my day. Like the first time he introduced me to someone as his fiance. Just the little things that mean so much, and shows that he cares & that he's in this for the long haul.
My car has been quite the piece lately. First the water pump, then the fuel pump & gas tank, & now the spark plugs. All this since Sept. ugh! We're having quite the time putting one in by the firewall. Can't get the right angle. =(
I get to meet his family after dating for over a year =). But the circumstances are not what I'd hoped. His dad went into emergency surgery last night, & is now in intensive care. He is in my prayers, along with the rest of the family.
We have our baby back.....Moses our 8 month old kitten. He was fixed & de-clawed, plus shots. He has been quite the lover lately. We think he might have abandonment issues. He's starting to be playful again though.